Awakening Spirit, Deepening Soul

I do not even know where to begin with this blog! I have so many thoughts buzzing around my head that it is very hard for me to begin elaborating them in a beautifully scripted post that I hope will inspire and touch people as they are all seemingly incomprehensible right now! However, I will do my best to articulate my thought patterns, which right now I am not sure are even mine, and paint an image of promise and hope!

I will begin by discussing what I mean by Awakening Spirit. For me, this means saying yes to life, saying thanks and expressing gratitude for the opportunity to awaken to this miraculous landscape, allowing faith to flood our lives and take us on the deepest of journeys that will inevitably heal us from the inside out, and also allowing ourselves to open up to our vulnerabilities and begin exploring the depths of our emotional selves.

What happens when we do begin to awaken our spirits is that we have an encounter with our souls. I will come back to this, as I want to first throw some ideas out there of how we can make this possible, and for me, why it is important.

To start with I invite you to relax and close down your eyes and allow all of your focus to fall on your breathing, the inhalation of your breath and the rising of your chest, followed by, the exhalation and the falling of your chest. Find a rhythm and be present with it, take a few moments to honour that space, and know, that this space exists in a continuum and is always readily available for us us to enter and simply just, be. After all, being is a fundamental part of being a human being.

This small practice is a tiny step into the deep fathoms of meditation which is one of the oldest spiritual practices known to us. This practice doesn’t continue to reach us over thousands of years by chance, no, it is a gift, one we must hold onto and cherish. I see meditation as an opportunity to honour ourselves , and in turn, honour the totality of life.

What meditation brings into my life, as it does for so many others, is clarity. With this clarity of thought we can begin to allow our minds to open and allow new light to seep between the cracks we begin to expose, giving us a whole new perspective as to what our purpose might be and a new found awareness to our humanness.

This is important on so many levels, particularly in a time where division prevails over unity! The age old dynamic of us and them is toxic, and for me, a new found awareness of our humanness is exactly what we need to begin breaking down this old worldview, that has become so deeply rooted into our beings and everyday lives through centuries of conditioning that has made us buy into the idea that there really is, an us and a them.

When we awaken our spirit and begin exploring the truths found in spiritual practices, whether it be a simple practice of meditation or devotional worship to Jesus or any other religion we so wish to explore, what we do is we start realising the toxicity of the dynamic of us and them.

Then what starts coming up to the surface is our restless souls, of which, tend to have been neglected as we have allowed our lives to be saturated with egocentric behaviour patterns that enforce that old dynamic. When we begin to deepen our encounters with our souls, we are reminded of and shown one of our most beautiful and treasured aspects of our human divinities, empathy.

I am not going to sit here and pretend that deepening our relationships with our souls is an easy journey, however, it is a worthy one. When we rekindle our relationships with our truly empathetic selves we will face a time of deep sadness and pain, pain that isn’t even just of our own, but the entire global population. This is a natural process, it is also a time for us to say thank you to the aspects of our nature that have prevented us from feeling this pain throughout our lives, and honourably insist that our newly, spiritually transformed selves will take control of our emotional lives.

We do this so we can feel deeply into each other and begin laying new foundations for our souls to become the way makers of our lives. We do this as all of our souls are not just a single entity that is to be experienced on an individual level, no, we do this as our souls are intertwined and have been woven together since the unfolding of the universe began.

What I have come to understand recently, through deepening my own journey to my soul and enriching my life with the scriptures of the bible and regular meditation, is that we have always been and always will be, in the hands of God. When we open up to this faith and universal truth, no matter what your interpretation of God might be, we begin the much needed process of Awakening our Spirits and allowing them to guide us on our journeys deep into the soul of the world.

The reason this is a worthy journey is because there is so much beauty in compassion, love and empathy that it will truly allow us to love thy neighbour and begin taking down the fences in our gardens, removing the borders in our countries as we open our hearts up to each other and the world and prevent the division as we all unite as a species that has the ability to be with one another.

In the universe, I trust.

We all have to cross bridges in our lives.

It seems my time in Scotland is going to be short lived, yesterday I sustained an injury on my hypermobile hip joint while out walking. This is preventing me from working so it does not make sense for me to stay here especially if I cannot move my leg!

The walk the injury was developed on was filled with all the incredible beauty you would expect to see in the Highlands. The Scottish air is refreshingly crisp and being the only person for miles it is blissfully peaceful.

Remnants of an old pine forest.

The shrubs of heather stretch out as far as the eye can see, and amongst the foliage there is an assortment of wildlife awaiting to be seen. The rivers and streams meander over the land creating that luscious sound of continuously flowing water.

Our vital source of life crashing over rocks.

I love being out here alone and away from the societal issues we are faced with in these uncertain times. Out here in the hills, there is no judgement, just curious critters wondering who this strange 6ft 4in mammal is that walks on, not four, but two legs is!

I see Ewe…

The excitement I get when I am walking areas I have not explored before is the same excitement I get when I head to a new country or culture. It is about entering into the world of the unknown, where expectations are dissolved and disappointment non existent, a journey of discovery, internally and externally.

I can get carried away when I walk though, I never wish to stop, which is the way I felt about travelling once I began doing that in 2011.

I love staring into the darkness of a forest wondering what woodland creatures are contained within!

This walk is no exception. I decide, under the impression that I have work at 6, to walk through to Kingussie after seeing a sign stating it is three and a half miles away. I trek over streams, alongside forests, through heather and swamp until I reach Loch Gynack.

Loch Gynack.

This is a small loch in comparison to some of the other lochs I have been blessed to have laid eyes upon in this life, but just as majestic nonetheless. I continue the path through wilderness and woods until I reach a waypoint on the far side of the loch.

What to do?

It is here it dawns on me that, I got my start time mixed up and I am meant to be in at five. My heart desires to reach the top of Craeg Bheag as there is no better feeling than to reach the summit of a peak and stare out across the land you have just traversed.

I look to my clock and it is 15:10, I have an hour and ten minutes to make it back to Newtonmore. I do not linger long and decide I cannot deny my hearts wishes and begin my ascent immediately.

It is not long until I reach the top, I do not see a path heading down the other side and into Kingussie so I must go back the way I came. This time I must move with speed as it is now 15:30 and I am not sure on what time public transport in Kingussie heads to Newtonmore.

As it is my second shift I decide I cannot be late and begin my race against time. I start running down the side of the Craeg.

Long story short I made it for work, however, I decided to film this part of my adventure so you can watch the video ‘Better not be late’ on my YouTube channel Wandering Spirit. It is quite entertaining actually, I hope you enjoy it.

So last night I couldn’t sleep as the pain was unbearable, today I am unable to move my leg without having shooting and throbbing pains unleashed upon me. I have been to see a doctor who has said I need to rest it for a couple of weeks and then go back if it is still just as bad in a week.

Upon telling my employer he says it will just be best if I go home in this case, I watch the cloud roll in as, for me, this is financially tragic. I am not going to worry myself about my situation for there is no need, I know every cloud has a silver lining even if it is not made visible for an unknown period of time and for me that is the deepest reason as to why patience truly is a virtue.

Like many of times in the past, I put my trust in the universe for it is all I can do as I stare unemployment in the face again.

Back in the Highlands!

It feels great to be back in the Highlands! As I sit here gazing out the window of the train, reflecting my last journey up here and how important that phase of my life shaped up to be.

At the time I was gripped by a pretty harsh psychosis, it rendered me vulnerable to the world and very nearly took my life. It is the hardest test I have undergone in this life and I am grateful to sit here now, over a year later, being able to relay this enlightening experience.

Just when I needed an escape a fleeting voice passed through my inner ears guiding me to Scotland. “Live in job rural Scotland” was all the voice had said. Immediately I punched this into the almighty Google search and found myself applying for various vacancies.

An hour later I was exchanging emails with a self made hotelier Ian. After a few emails and a phone call he wished to employ me at The Ardeonaig Hotel situated on the Eastern shores of Loch Tay.

Upon arriving to the Ardeonaig, I was beginning to feel the grip of the demons loosen almost immediately. The place was fit for Kings and Queens, Gods and Goddesses and people of hierarchical importance. The place screamed elegance!

After my initial tour of the building I ventured into the gardens on my own and down to the jetty which offers the most incredible panoramic view of Loch Tay and the surrounding mountains!

It was autumn and the trees were displaying all the colours of the rainbow. It was at this moment I felt my whole body tingle as all of my pain and anguish was released from me and the demons blew away in the wind, as the angles descended they created ripples that stretched the entire expanse of the lake.

I looked to the skies and thanked the universe for; the excruciating test, the intuition, the strength, the willingness, the demons, the angels; for listening, for protecting me and for everything else in this world, good or bad.

I recalled in this moment a time not so long before spent with two people of great importance to me at Ashton Court in Bristol. It was here I was temporarily relaxed, surrounded by nature telling my companions how this is what I needed, some solitude in the mountains surrounded by rivers, lakes and trees. I thanked the universe over and over again.

I managed seven months before my wandering spirit was called back to adventure, this time I was pulled towards AndalucĂ­a, to meet a friend of mine to research permaculture and ecological living.

To this day I am not sure Ian will ever understand how much he helped me, how he took my arm and pulled me up from the depths of despair, a true saint. To him and his family I owe my thanks for providing the desperately needed solitude my soul craved.

This time round I am heading deeper into the Highlands for my next adventure, awaiting to be shown signs for my next path and to be engulfed by the magical aura of the snow capped peaks that cover the land.